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  • Writer's pictureChristina Mariani

How to Leave a Closed Door Shut

Updated: Feb 9, 2023


  2. Don't even look at it.

Disclaimer: I don't actively close doors in my life. I am always acutely aware when God is closing a door, because I pay very close attention. This allows me to ensure that my arms and feet are clear of the threshold so that it doesn't hurt when it happens. Typically, I am already 10 feet in the opposite direction because I had ample notice or intuitive foresight on the situation.

Hi, my name is Christina and one of the things I am known to be excellent at is handling the closing of doors.

This may not be a traditional strength you have seen written on a resume before, but it is significant and quite powerful, nonetheless.

To further elaborate and clarify here:

In other words, when a door closes, whether it be a job, friendship, or relationship, I am able to let go of it promptly with minimal grief, disappointment or feelings of rejection. I believe everything that is meant to be, will be. I also believe that some things are only for a season. Some assignments are only short-term. If the season comes to an end, (or the assignment is completed or changes), there is no need to blame or criticize either party; it was simply a seasonal situationship. This is why I am never tempted to fight the door from closing or to force my way back through it. All of the stages of grief are processed; I just typically reach acceptance at an expedited speed.

Another personal atypical strength that a W2 resume is not formatted to acknowledge:

I don't experience failure or loss. I only gain golden nougats of wisdom from these priceless learning opportunities.

I squeeze every lesson possible out of every so-called mistake. As a hands-on-learner, mistakes make some of the best teachers. I can actually listen to them, (because the consequences of the mistake hurt my ego or my pocket,) unlike most classroom teachers who drone on about theory, making me fall fast asleep. Substantial study time, process analysis and practice goes into ensuring that I will not make the same mistake twice in this lifetime.

In my younger years, I used to passionately share all of my mistakes whenever possible because I wanted to save everyone else from making the same ones. Eventually it dawned on me that some people and some moments are not appropriate for this. Not everyone is as enthusiastic about self-improvement and growth as I am. Over-sharing is something that I had to recognize as an area where I had room to improve in. Some mistakes are better kept to myself and some of the related lessons will be available for purchase later on in my memoirs. ;)

My closest confidants will attest that I get a little too excited about the closing of doors.

Maybe it's the touch of ADD in me that creates a sense of relief, like: PHEW one less thing to worry about! I got enough on my plate already....

Or maybe it's the strong "NO DEADWEIGHT" policy that I live and breathe by.

I interpret every door that closes and every perceived act of rejection as a beautiful gift from God. I am being set free from carrying a load of deadweight that was not assigned to me, or I am dodging a bullet. Thank you, Lord, for your protection either way!

It is so often that we limit ourselves. Once we decide to let go of something that is not right for us, God always replaces it with much greater.

We must let go of old stuff that isn't suitable for us, to make room for greater. You cannot hold onto a pile of garbage or a house full of hoarding, if you are trying to move into gorgeous, well-kept castle. (Personal life goal leaked).

My daily prayer is that God orders my footsteps and directs my paths. Therefore, I interpret every closing door as God rerouting me to the fastest route to my promised land. And I welcome all short cuts along the way! Thank you for helping me avoid every accident, road-closure, dead-end and stretch of heavy traffic mixed with construction. My goal is to avoid all unnecessary delays.

Maybe my love for the closing of doors can also be attributed to the fact that I love change. While some people despise it or find it very uncomfortable, I, on the other hand, enthusiastically welcome it.

This could have something to do with my biological wiring as a process improvement, quality control, design|build, personal growth GEEK. From my perspective, all change is good. I am confident that of God's plans are great and that all things are working out for the best, including the unexpected life challenges and pain.

I don't consider myself to be a toxic positivitist (made-up word). Everything is not always rainbows and butterflies. Pain is real, life can be rough and this world is cruel. I have worked hard at learning how to process unpleasant emotions. I have been thoroughly trained on how to respond with empathy to others experiencing the same. Pointing out the bright-side is typically invalidating, untherapeutic and not recommended when someone is experiencing loss and hardship.

With that being said, I am clearly a half-glass-full-all-the-time kind of girl...

When it comes to my personal trials, I choose to see all loss as an opportunity for new life and rebirth. Death is nothing to fear. I will happily join Jesus when it is my time and I am typically able to quietly rejoice when my loved ones are no longer suffering the pains of this world. I feel sadness for all of those who are left behind and who are no longer able to enjoy their physical presence. Yet, I feel relief for the soul that was set free from this world.

When a friend tells me they are going through a breakup or a divorce, I have trouble hiding my excitement, which is 100% sourced from the fact that I know God is about to replace that space with abundant healing, love, new life, and eventually an even better partner!

If you or a friend need help leaving a closed door shut, I would likely be the best person to call.

If you are thinking about going back to your abusive ex or an old toxic job, I will wrestle you to the ground and take you with me on to bigger and better.

If you put up a big fight though, and knock me upside the head, I am going to drop you and let you go back to wherever you want to. Be careful not to fight the ones throwing you a lifeline even if you are scared to leave your comfort zone. Everything we want is just on the other side of fear and the unknown.

Leaving what you know, to pursue the unknown, takes an enormous amount of faith. It can be terrifying and it can look crazy to other people in your life. Just know that even if you land on your face, you are going to be closer to where you are meant to be, compared to where you would be if you stayed in the place where you know you don't belong. Every bruise and banged up knee will be worth it in in the end. Always fall forward, not backwards, in the journey of life.

Cheers to everyone reading this who is entering newly opened doors. Never forget about the closed door that proceeded it. There is so much more to discover up ahead, beyond what you could ever imagine! Practice learning to love the process and remember to give yourself grace through the scary parts. Find an accountability partner who will encourage you to keep pressing on, even when you start to lose sight of the promise.

Fear is meant to be chased, caught and trampled on. It can actually lead you to everything you are meant to be in this lifetime. This is one of the best ways to find freedom for your soul.

Feel free to share your stories below. We want to hear about the new opportunities that opened up for you and the many blessings that poured down, once you left something that you knew you were supposed to leave a long time ago. It takes a lot of courage to take that first step and I am proud of you, regardless of how long it may have taken. As the saying goes... better late than never. God can give you back all perceived lost time in the blink of an eye!

With love and prayers for healing and freedom for your soul,

Christina Mariani

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